baby #6

ANNOUNCING the arrival into the outerbelly world of our newest baby boy, lovingly supported by the hands of his father, grandmother, and aunt at 3:12pm on April 2nd 2012. Our biggest weighing in at 9lb 4oz, 23in long! (our smallest was 7lb 4oz, 17in) lots of dark hair, gray wait-and-see eyes, and the longest eyelashes I have ever seen, he nurses like a pro and spends hours every day studying the world with his big round eyes... I could go on & on, he is just perfect.

1 week old

 no name yet- it never takes more than 3 months :P
I guess you'd say it was unassisted, but it didn't feel that way, my mom, sister, sister-in-law, and husband were all there.

-it was a hard labor, because of emotional issues, I just couldn't open up... got a blessing when I was pushing and was able to open, out he came absolutely perfect, with me intact... I felt like the baby and I were very connected all through labor & after he came out- we were feeling the same things, it was hard for him but he knew I was doing it with him, we weren’t alone.

... -I started to hemorrhage, had some herbs on hand for it and quickly got it under control.

-placenta didn't come, but pain did... it got worse, when it got to be too much we transferred to the hospital for some help. (about 2 hours)

-at hospital we got the help we needed but it was traumatic... the Demerol was nice and so were the 3 IV bags.

-stayed 24 hours, listened to the poor lady in the next room give birth, she screamed and screamed, she was full of fear she would yell "HELP ME" like she was being killed, when the baby came it screamed in the same way it's mom did... and they were both screaming together, and she was still yelling "HELP ME"... when I said something to my nurse she just smiled and acted like it was perfectly normal? when the Demerol wore off I was in pain again :(

-after I got home every thing "seemed" fine, but that night I was hit from left field by umm, secondary trauma induced shock? my body started shutting down and I couldn't hardly move or think, after it first happened I prayed and prayed, my mind filled with hymns trying to drown out the mental shutdown. the family rallied round and helped pull me back but recovery has been painful and long. I'm starting to feel more normal now the last few days, I've even started carrying the baby :)

I think this is as close as I can come to facing a birth story...

... are you down, down, down? ... Pick Yourself UP

As a youth and young mother I suffered with depression off and on for years. In dealing with it for so long I've learned to recognize it as it comes and the things that compound it into a big problem. There are, for me, two things that I can change that help/hurt me. I'm not going to talk about the things that I cannot change because when I focus on those things (ie. money, things that just happen, what other people do, or how they treat me) it only gets worse.

1. FOOD, what I eat. Am I eating foods that good for me? Most importantly, greens and the right types of oil.
2. SIN, you can't be happy doing things you know are wrong... for me it is mostly sins of omission, what am I not doing? prayers, reading scriptures, being loving to my family, serving others, or maybe I'm being lazy, wasting the time or talents given me by the Lord. Spending my time on the internet instead of on my children.
The problem is that I don't feel like changing those things. When I'm feeling sorry for myself I want to be lazy and eat junk...

Often I give myself a day to mope, then force myself to do better.
As an example earlier this week, Sunday, I was feeling really bad about my life, something my loving thoughtless husband had said. I could feel it coming on so Monday I was sure to drink my green drink (I highly recommend it for emergency like this) and set a goal to better myself, in this case it is to read the Book of Mormon and all of last conference before this next coming one (32 days). Now before you think I am a super hero let me just say that I will not really be reading it, but I will be listening to it online.

I'll track my progress here:
March 1st First book Nephi chapters 1-9
2nd chapters 10-16
3rd chapters 17- 22
4th Second Nephi chapters 1-8
5th chapters 9-17
6th went to Monterey :)
7th chapters 18-33
8th bad day, bad day...
9th Jacob, Enos, Jerom, Omni
10th-15th lost track :p
16th started Alma chapter 10
50% done woohoo :D
18th started my day with "O that I were an angel" Alma chapter 29, my heart almost sings with this chapter...
23rd started the Book of Helaman
30th 90% done
31st started Ether, right on track :)